I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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