im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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