A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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