so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
