I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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