is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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