Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
