So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
