How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize