how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
