I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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