the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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