I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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