He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
