Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Church boner. Awkwardddd
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
