The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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