oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
