Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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