you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
