Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize