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it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
pray to the hookup gods
is that a dick in a sweater?
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