She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
