Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
