the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
