***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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