Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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