The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
