Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
