Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
