I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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