she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Drake has all the answers
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
