i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
