We're like a lot better than the average bears
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
