it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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