you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize