i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
