u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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