It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
