You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Randomize
