i don't like sucking hair
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
