You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
