that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sober January is a disaster.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
