It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
