pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
