Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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