I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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