I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
