I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
