The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
