why didn't you poke me back
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
