I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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