remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
