Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
