Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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