Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So many bounce houses so little time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
