I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
